Is it Clarity?

Today Trent had one of the days that frustrate me the most. He started his morning saying he didn't like what I fixed for breakfast before I'd fixed anything. He told me he hated that Mexican at school. He finally decided that his name was Jesse. He asked where I'd gone yesterday. He said he didn't like Jesse kissing me. It was agonizingly difficult to get him ready and into the car. He had negatives to say about things that had no referent for me.

He is sleeping so much more. This week he has been coming home at around 4:30 and is in bed for the night by 5:00. I hadn't been over to see my mother all week and that is not enough. I called her and said I'd bring over dinner for us all from Calico County. When Trent's plans for going to bed were disrupted, he became agitated. It seemed like each turn of the car, he was more angry. He was cursing, opening his door while I was driving and saying things of which there seemed no referent. We ate at Mom's and he would get up and move around some and then sit back down. When he finished, he went into the backyard. He threw a branch that had blown off the tree over the fence and picked up several small ones and did the same. When I opened the door and said we needed to leave, the agitation started up again. By the time we got home, he was yelling and upset, almost in tears. He continue to become more agitated. I encouraged him to get ready for bed at 6:30 and he would lay down and pop back up over and over. He finally was crying uncontrollably. I went into the bedroom to help him get his C-PAP on. I asked again if he was okay. Then he said, "I am breaking apart faster than the others."
Was that a moment of clarity? Was that just another phrase that went across his lips without knowing what he was talking about? It probably doesn't make a whole lot of difference, but it slammed me to the ground. I've wept and wept. I miss him when he's in the room with me but what will I do when all moments of clarity are gone.